There are lots of insects in Thailand and how to kill them is a challenge. Thailand is a friendly place. Friendly to all kinds of life forms, too, not just humans. In fact, one life form that discouraged humans from settling Thailand’s rich river bottoms for centuries was insects. And there are some insects, (like some people) you just don’t want in your house, regardless of how hard they try. That’s why God invented Baygon. (Actually, it was invented by those German masters of mass murder, Bayer, but no matter).

Baygon Insect Spray
Baygon Insect Spray

It’s a neurotoxin and is banned in first world countries because..well, you can guess. But if you’re retired in Thailand there are two reasons to use it. At our age, traces of such toxins are irrelevant to our health. Unlike children, we’ve lost so many neurons that a few more won’t be noticed. But the main reason is that Baygon really, really kills insects permanently and discourages their friends from coming anywhere near you. Once a month, just squirt each corner of the room and you’ll be insect free. It’s that simple.

If you’re not in the mood to kill every insect in Thailand you can, of course, eat them:

2 Responses

  1. Whilst I appreciate the satirical nature of your article, let me set the record straight. Yes neurotoxicity is an important factor, particularly for the insects.

    I work in the Health Industry so let me clarify some facts. Baygon, which is a pesticide brand has not been banned, but certain chemicals have been banned or severely restricted.

    The March/April 2013 issue of CA: A Cancer Journal for Clinicians published a review by the U.S. National Cancer Institute and others reporting the widespread recognition that exposure (through our food, water, skin and air) to MANY different pesticides are convincingly linked to an increase in cancer risk, pesticide exposure and the following cancer types:
    •Breast cancer
    •Prostate cancer
    •Leukemia
    •Lymphoma
    •Multiple myeloma
    •although these cancers are the most recognized for their association with pesticide exposure, many others have been linked in studies (i.e. lung, pancreatic, brain, stomach, ovarian, kidney, etc.)

    Whilst you may speak for yourself in relation to the loss of neurones, I can think of better ways to go than cancer. According to French researchers, the incidence of cancer is expected to increase by more than 75% by the year 2030 in developed countries, and over 90% in developing nations. The study is published Online First in the Lancet Oncology. Ever wondered why this is happening? Yep, you guessed it, chemical pollution in all its forms!

    So anything we can do to alleviate this, especially in the developing world…should be actioned now!

    I’m for eating them. But only if they’re clean!

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