The prospect of relationships with Thai women
brings thousands of men to the Land of Smiles every year. There are several reasons for their pilgrimage.
- Thai women don’t discriminate against foreigners. Thailand was never colonized, so there’s no stigma.
- They don’t discriminate against older men. On the contrary, older men are prized partners.
- Thai women respect and take pride in being seen with older men, who are presumed to be wise and generous.
- Foreigners are presumed to be rich–or at least to have a sizable, steady income. This is vitally important in Thai relationships.
- Thai men won’t marry a woman over age 3o, so there are 30-year-old doctors and dentists–who look 20–searching for husbands.
- There are many poor, uneducated country girls who drift into the bar girl lifestyle. The social stigma makes it impossible for them find a Thai partner. Their only possibility is marriage to a farang.
If you’re interested in a relationship with a ‘respectable’ Thai woman then Thai society is also your friend. Older men are regarded as good matrimonial catches and ageism is almost unknown. The availability of young brides for older men makes a Thailand retirement one of the most attractive possibilities on earth.
Once a woman turns 30 – regardless of her education or social standing – she is considered too old for marriage. Thailand is the world’s greatest hunting-ground if you’re looking for a real marriage and a real relationship. I’m still recovering from 35 years of marriage so I’m not in the market at present. But at age 72 I’ve been approached by some gorgeous women. Not only decades younger than me but also well-educated and financially better off than me, to my embarrassment.
A Tale of Love, Sex and Money in Thailand
A British man who fell in love with a Thai woman he met in a bar. He was unaware that ALL man-woman relationships are based on mutuality, not romance. He didn’t uphold his end of their bargain and was crushed when she opted out:
If you’d like to marry a beautiful, graceful, educated woman (and, she hopes, raise a family) then you can do that, too. Part of Concierge Service offerings include introducing would-be husbands to a Thai marriage-broker. She asks all kinds of questions about divorce certificates, police record, bank balance, income, etc., then finds you a Thai bride. It’s always been done that way. Before you start dancing with joy let me add that when you marry a Thai woman you marry her entire family. Literally. It’s a package deal.
So make her family the main focus of your investigation. Spend as much time with them as you can because, after the wedding, you’re going to be spending a lot more. That being said, a retirement in Thailand can be the beginning of an entirely new love life. There are literally thousands of retired guys here in Chiang Mai in happy relationships. There’s nothing to stop you joining them.
Women in Thailand – A Lawyer’s Point of View
I asked a local lawyer friend to describe some of the romantic problems he grapples with. He’s dealt with literally hundreds of expats and their relationship/legal problems. Here’s what he had to say:
It’s surprisingly common for newly arrived men to put their new business and house titles into their girlfriends’ names even before they marry. This is extremely risky in any society – and particularly so in a new, foreign culture with different rules and expectations. It’s also unnecessary, as he explains later. There are two complications at this point. The first is that the girlfriend may be a bar girl – which gives her a professional edge over the foreign newbie who just got off the boat. She has an extensive network of older women and other girlfriends who can coach her about her legal rights and expectations. He does not.
The second complication is difficult to understand, but occurs frequently: after the engagement or wedding the guy keeps going to bars and dating other bar girls. This is the root of most of the blame that gets levelled at bar girls and, apparently, unfairly. The girls are probably eagerly looking forward to having a ‘respectable’ relationship at long last and are doubtless ready to make many concessions to maintain it. But it’s as true of Thai women as it is of any woman: no fury can match that of a scorned woman. Particularly one who has spent her young life being scorned and looked down upon by respectable society. She naturally becomes angry and alienated and either attacks the guy with a large kitchen knife (very popular) or simply leaves him. When he realizes his mistake and asks for the return of his property, she offers to sign everything over to him for 3,000,000 Baht ($100,000). This amount is only an average, the lawyer says.
The moral of the story is clear: bar girls will say and do almost anything to get out of bar work. When they marry they want to be loved and treated well. Duh! That is their lifelong dream. Betray them and you risk life, limb, and fortune.
The Lawyer’s Un-Romantic Advice
1. If you put something in someone else’s name, consider it a gift. Period. So put everything in your name. It’s NOT difficult, despite what people tell you.
2. If you do sign over a property make use of the usufruct law. It allows you the unobstructed use of the property for life.
3. Don’t believe the realtor’s line, “We can secure the house but we can’t secure the land”. No. If you can secure one you can secure the other. The property is FIXED to the land, and Thai law is based on English law. There is no mystery to it.
4. 30-year property leases do NOT carry an automatic renewal, despite what estate agents tell you. 30 years is the legal maximum. No renewals are or can be guaranteed beyond that.
5. Talk to a good (foreign) lawyer before you commit to any legal arrangement.
A Brit Discusses his Thai ex-Wife
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